First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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