i already hear my dad disowning me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
