you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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