Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
