I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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