I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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