My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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