the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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