I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
