porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize