Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
