i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My hand turned me down
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
