Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
