I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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