Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
