She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
