proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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