you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
