I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
