brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
