glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize