It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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