Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
