Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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