I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
