JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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