I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nicole vs. Life
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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