She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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