angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize