you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize