Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
