My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
