I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh god the rape fog is back!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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