he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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