I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
