you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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