"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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