Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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