I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
