ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im holly from the hills drunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
