Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
