there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
