the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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