Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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