you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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