I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
