It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
