p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize