Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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