so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
