okay pat passed out under dana's car
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How external is "for external use only"?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
