Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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