it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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