i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
