Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
