hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
