Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
