so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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