Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
