Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
