There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
