She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
